Spontaneous Forgiveness

My experience with forgiveness is that it sort of comes spontaneously at a certain point and to try to force it it’s not really forgiveness. It’s Buddhist philosophy or something spiritual jargon that you’re trying to live up to but you’re just using it against yourself as a reason why you’re not okay.

 

Pema Chodron

 

A friend of mine turned me onto Pema Chodron when she recommended I listen to Getting Unstuck.  I loaded it on my iPhone and have heard it countless times and each time I listen I get something new out of it.  Ms Chodron has become another of my mentors as has Wayne Dyer and Jon Kabat-Zinn.

As a follow up to Wednesday’s Holding On To Anger, forgiveness, letting go, dropping the hot coal doesn’t happen by forcing the issue.  Take it from someone who knows.  I spent a lifetime forcing the issue.  It only made me more miserable.

You have to live through your own turmoil.
You have to go through the storm.
You have to see the miserable.

Everyone has misery in their lives.  There is no getting around that fact.  It’s how you cope with that misery.  It’s how you deal with that turmoil that determines your emotional health.  Are you going to stew in the depths of despair?  Are you going to live with your anger?

Or will you face it head on and kick it out of your life?  Are you going to forgive?  so that you can live a happy successful life?  Are you going to wake up and remove your blinders?

When you decide you’ve lived a life of turmoil long enough, when you decide that the person or events that have caused you despair have done more harm to you then they they’ve done to themselves you will understand that the pain you’re feeling, the anger you’re feeling, the turmoil you’re experiencing is NOT hurting them, it’s killing you, that’s when you’ll feel as if the forgiveness you bestow, IF you bestow it will feel spontaneous.  It REALLY wasn’t spontaneous, however.

You lived through a lifetime of turmoil to get to this point.  It was all a lesson to teach you to forgive.

There is no bad.
There is no anger.

These are simply tools that are used to teach us that there is REALLY ONLY one way to live.  That way is:
Love, Forgiveness, Blessing.

How do we learn this lesson?  By experiencing the opposite.

Spontaneous forgiveness comes from years of living in anger, living in fear, living in turmoil.
Can you learn the lesson?
Can you learn to spontaneously forgive?

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

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3 responses to “Spontaneous Forgiveness

  1. Chris, while reading this I couldn’t help but remember this scripture that talks about forgiving 70 times 70, and another in Matthew 18 that says, “unless you forgive from your heart” you’ll be turned over to the “tormenters,” as in the parable prior. Years ago when struggling with forgiveness, a friend pointed out to me the word “tormentors” and we had a momentous discussion. I discovered that day that tormenters come in all shapes and sizes, i.e. depression and other emotional and mental disturbances. Then I recalled reading a book years ago by a medical doctor who’d done research linking unforgiveness to a number of diseases.

    On spontaneous forgiveness – I have to first forgive as an act of the will (yes, sometimes 70 x’s 70) before the feelings of forgiveness follow. But they always, always do come in time, mostly sooner than later.

    Thank you for these engaging discussions. You always get the wheels turning!

    • Hi Debra:
      Always like hearing your responses to what I have to blog about. You bring happiness everywhere you go I’m sure. You certainly bring great joy to me with your comments.

      Thanks for stopping by as always.

      Chris

  2. Likewise, you spread the magic and joy around wherever your spirit lands.

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